Tag Archives: Rumi

The God who is already here

Neighborhood Cat

Why do we rush about looking for God
who is here, at home with us,
if all we want to do is be with God?
(Augustine, On the Trinity VIII)

“Ah, you again…”

I’ve always had a favorite neighborhood cat, everywhere I’ve lived. In central Berkeley, it was this tiny, round, soft-furred little delight with the sweetest little ears. Her name, according to her collar, was Donut. In my current neighborhood, my favorite cat is Matches, whose coat is the perfect mixture of tawny, brown, and white, and whose friendly demeanor charms me every time I encounter him.

I never know exactly which house the neighborhood cat lives in, or who owns it. I just know that, again and again, often when I’ve forgotten to expect it, I run into this familiar feature of my street.

The most staying spiritual lessons of my faith journey are often like those neighborhood cats. They’re special to me, and I like them, and they seem to have this nagging ability to keep showing up. I can’t say I completely understand where they come from, but I’m well acquainted with their repeat appearances: “Ah, you again…”

Don’t look for it outside yourself

Lately, I have been running into this particular cat quite frequently: God is already present with me, closer than my own breath.

I encounter this lesson when I sit in silence at the end of the day and notice a gnawing feeling of separation from God. My soul can get hurried — “Where are you?! Where are you?!” — and then I remember that God’s presence is immovable: it is only my perception of it that waxes and wanes.

I encounter this lesson when I am surprised by the beauty of creation and realize I have somehow forgotten that “every common bush is afire with God,” that every moment is ripe with invitations to come home.

I encounter this lesson when I listen to others speak about their faith journeys: it is a gift to sit on the outside and see the weaving threads of divinity moving in and out of another’s life, even when they’re not able to see it themselves.

The mystic poet Rumi writes:

Wait for the illuminating openness,
as though your chest were filling with Light,
as when God said, Did we not expand you?
Don’t look for it outside yourself…
Beg for that love expansion. Meditate only on that.
(from “A Basket of Fresh Bread”)

Don’t look for the illuminating openness outside yourself. Don’t rush heedlessly through life looking for the God who is already here.

For me, for now, this cat just won’t stop following me home. And thank goodness for that.

Leave a comment

Filed under My Faith Journey, Spirituality

3 Lenten Lessons

The Final Stretch

Wow, Lent is long, isn’t it?

At the beginning, when we talk about 40 days  — less than 6 weeks! — it sounds so simple and doable, like the kind of thing I can mark off in my planner. Easier than a New Year’s resolution, right?

I come up with some theme or scripture passage or spiritual practice, and I’m set… And then it takes about four days to forget what I’m doing and lose focus. Every year.

By the time we get here, to the final stretch before Holy Week, it feels like mile 25 of a marathon, like I’m just crawling to Easter. The book that I was supposed to be using for daily devotionals is mocking me from my nightstand, my meditation practice has gotten lost in the hectic reality that is church work in the spring, and I’m just ready for that tomb to be empty already!

But Lent is really just a season to intentionally notice and invite whatever is emerging in our souls. It doesn’t need to be anything fancy.

So, as Lent draws to a close, as we enter the final stretch, I thought I’d share three Lenten lessons that are emerging in me.

1. “My image of God creates me”

This is a phrase I’ve learned from Richard Rohr. It has been sticking with me, like a mantra, and reminding me to consider not only what kinds of God images I carry within my heart, but what they mean about me. Our understanding of God and our understanding of humanity are intertwined. As Father Rohr writes:

The miracle of grace and true prayer is that they invade the unconscious mind and heart (where our real truth lies) — and thus really change us! They invade them so much that the love of God and the love of self invariably proceed forward together. On the practical level, they are experienced as the same thing! (From Yes, And, 8)

I think there is something sacred and critical about developing self-compassion, and that process is not divorced from our spiritual work. Loving humanity, that includes ourselves, is part of learning to love God.

2. Listen to the ocean of silence

This one’s really simple: meditation is important.

Lest you think that I’ve learned this during Lent by having some superhero meditation practice, it’s more accurate to say I’m learning this by omission. Lent ushers in a busy season in the ministry world, and I have noticed my quiet time steadily diminishing as Easter approaches. In the absence of a steady meditation practice, I have noticed myself to be more tense, more frantic, more busy.

As Rumi writes:

Inside me a hundred beings
are putting their fingers to their lips and saying
“That’s enough for now. Shhhh.” Silence
is an ocean. Speech is a river.
When the ocean is searching for you, don’t walk
to the language-river. Listen to the ocean,
and bring your talky business
to an end.
(from “Send the Chaperones Away”)

Not a particularly radical or comforting spiritual lesson, but a clear and timely one.

3. Creation precedes Consumption

An artist friend of mine recently told me how much easier it is to teach art to children than to adults. Adults are more self-critical, more resistant to try new things, and more prone to copy whatever teaching example you show them. Young children, in her words, say “Just give me the paint brush!!” They’re ready to dive in and try and are less concerned with what counts as “good” art to an outside observer.

Somewhere along the way, it seems, we are learning and integrating that habit of self-consciously stifling our creativity.

I think that extends to the spiritual realm as well. I am often asked to pray in group settings because I’m considered the “expert,” despite my insistence that prayer is casual, open, and accessible. People, even very smart or religious people, frequently tell me that they’re not theologians, so their ideas about God and faith don’t count as much.

I find these kind of reactions a little bit baffling and a large bit disheartening, and I try to encourage people to embrace their natural spiritual creativity. I wrote recently about cultivating a creative faith — through the theology we teach, the rituals we practice, and the community we build. In my own life, I try to do this in lots of little ways: trying different prayer practices, sitting still in the sunshine, journaling, or playing late-night hymns on my piano.

I also try to practice creating before consuming the creation of others. We all carry our own inspiration within us. I try to make my own music, write my own poetry, or paint my own watercolor before I look to others’ work — not because others don’t inspire me but because I think it’s an important practice to connect to my own vision without the temptation of comparison.

Just give me the paintbrush already!

–  –  –

So as we move into Holy Week, feel free to share some of the lessons this Lent has sown in your life. What are you learning and noticing?

Leave a comment

Filed under Lent 2014, My Faith Journey, Spirituality

Images & Shadows

I’m the one who’s been asking you —
it hurts to ask — Who are you?
I am orphaned
each time the sun goes down.
I can feel cast out from everything
and even churches look like prisons

That’s when I want you —
you knower of my emptiness,
you, unspeaking partner to my sorrow —
that’s when I need you, God like food.
(Rainer Maria Rilke, from the Book of Hours, trans. Barrows & Macy)

Images that Draw You

I have always been drawn more to certain images of God than others.

I love the shepherd God, providing for his flock. I love the mother God, nestling her chicks under her wing, or weaning her children into maturity. I love the strong God of justice who frees prisoners and bends the moral arc of the universe.

But I can barely bring myself to speak the words “Alpha and Omega,” not to mention the “Sovereign,” “Propitiation,” or “Potentate.”

Everyone is like this, connecting more deeply with particular names or images of God than others. I love to listen to people talk about their connection to images of God that don’t resonate with me because it feels so expansive for my spiritual life. It re-connects me with the wide mystery of God.

Shadow Images

I think it is important to pay attention to the images that draw you, not only to explore what they reveal about your desires and beliefs, but also to explore what is hidden in them. When you call God by a particular name, or hold God as a particular image, there are necessarily ways that you are not perceiving God at that time. If I’m connected to God as shepherd, for instance, I might be missing God as creator, or God as refining fire, or God as judge.

One of my teachers calls this the “shadow image” — what is missing or hidden by a particular image of God. I often find myself asking: What happens when I encounter those “shadow images” for God in worship or prayer? How do I feel? What does that say about my soul?

Different Landscapes, Shifting Images

I’ve noticed that, although there are some images that stick with me always, as my spiritual journey moves through different landscapes, the images that speak to me most shift. The last few months have been a time of darkness and quiet in my soul and difficult circumstances in my life. Images of God that weren’t especially important before are resonating with me now.

One in particular comes from Rilke’s words in the poem above: God as the knower of my emptiness and the unspeaking partner to my sorrow. How grateful I am to Rilke for naming the tension of a God who is intimately near but painfully silent. Sometimes it can ache to reach toward God.

Another image that is strong for me comes from the Sufi mystic Rumi, who writes: “Dissolver of sugar, dissolve me.” I love this image of God because it speaks to the devastation that grief and pain can bring in our lives. How does it feel to be dissolved, even if that is the path your transformation is supposed to take? Rumi asks to be dissolved “gently… at dawn” or “suddenly, like an execution.” “How else can I get ready for death?” the poet asks.

God to me is these things right now: a knower of my emptiness, an unspeaking partner to my sorrow, a gentle or sudden dissolver. I continue to be curious about what that means for me and how my experience of God will continue to change as my life journey moves forward.

It’s clear that poetry is a central source of spiritual imagery for me, but I know lots of people who connect most with images they find in scripture or hymns. One of the reasons I love diversifying worship sources and methods is because it opens us up to so many different ways of experiencing God.

So, what do you find when you explore your preferred images of God? What do they say about the landscape of your spiritual life? What “shadow images” that may be less familiar to you are you interested in exploring?

**You can read the full Rilke poem here and the full Rumi poem here.

Leave a comment

Filed under My Faith Journey, Spirituality, Theology and Faith