Transitioning from grad school to “real life” has been tough.When I was in school I felt so overwhelmed by my schedule and workload that I never really felt like I was on top of my to-do list. Even though grad school entails less class time than college, the massive amount of reading pretty much fills up that extra time. Not to mention the logistical challenges of independent research.
But I enjoyed the student schedule. It felt healthy and comfortable for me. But in the last three weeks since I defended my thesis (thus officially finishing my grad student duties), I’ve had trouble getting into a new routine. Part of it is that whole phenomenon of having things to do but too much time to do them. I know I’m not alone in feeling like I actually get more done when I’m busy then when I’m not. So part of the struggle of post-grad school life has been giving myself the grace to find a new rhythm. Sometimes at the end of the day, I just fret and mope about how little I have gotten done.
This week at a candlelight worship service, I was reminded how important it is to resist that temptation to dwell. To introduce a time of silent meditation, the worship leader read this beautiful prayer from the New Zealand Prayer Book:
it is night.
The night is for stillness.
Let us be still in the presence of God.
It is night after a long day.
What has been done has been done;
what has not been done has not been done;
let it be.
The night is dark.
Let our fears of the darkness of the world and of our own lives
rest in you.
The night is quiet.
Let the quiet of your peace enfold us,
all dear to us,
and all who have no peace.
The night heralds the dawn.
Let us look expectantly to a new day,
In your name we pray.
So this week, I’m trying. I’m trying to rest and reflect at the end of the day, instead of worrying. I’m trying to recognize that what has been done, has been done. And what has not been done, has not been done. Or, at least, will just have to be done tomorrow.